Wednesday, June 3, 2015

I love it so much, why does it hurt me so?

I love food.  Sometimes, the food loves me back.  Raisin Bran, for example, is a good food that loves you back.  It's heart healthy and the fiber helps you..."doo" things to clean out your body.  Lots of good organic veggies and fruits from the farmers markets have great antioxidants, even things like Raisinettes at the movies.

But there are some foods I love that are there only to hurt me.

The worst of the batch are hot wings.  The best hot wings in my world are Crumpy's hot wings.  Regular hot, that is (I'm too much of a wimp to go hotter).  The flavor is delicious, the wings are fried to a proper texture and crunch, and they serve them with ranch or bleu cheese dressing, carrots and celery, a roll, napkins, and a drink around $8.00.  BUT! They give me heart burn now, and I feel my lower guts burning, not to mention the hours-later activity as they eject.  To begin with, the word is YUM!  To end, the word is, Ow.

Really warm, hard, crunchy corn chips are delicious, they are an enjoyable chip to dip and hear crunch; but, let that booger turn ever so slightly in your mouth and JAM! You have stabbed yourself with corn chip!!  Ow.

Which leads me to the #1 culprit.  Cap'n Crunch.  I love that cereal!  I've eaten it since I was a kid, but only buy a box once, like, every 3 years or so because as you dip your huge spoon into the bowl to scoop up a bite (yeah, not a wimpy little spoon bite, but a heaping MAN-SIZED bite) and shovel that into your face, that bite down on it results in the destruction of your interior.  Something about that cereal is perfectly delicious and rock hard that you want to eat it, even though it hurts.  That upper part of your mouth is in shreds at the end of the meal.

And if it isn't:  You're not doing it right!!

So, I was inspired to create this after my last bowl of the stuff (about 15 minutes ago).